The 7 Most Shreveport Items That Can Be Ordered on Food Delivery Apps in Shreveport

When food delivery apps began to proliferate in Shreveport and Bossier City—this would have been sometime between 2011 and 2013, I think—my first reaction was “bless their hearts.” Shreveport can be a uniquely challenging market in any industry, but in a line of business that is reliant upon time-sensitive interactions with restaurants, a high-functioning gig economy workforce, and a reliable telecommunications infrastructure? I didn’t see it working out.

Turns out, I was wrong. The delivery services have worked out fine in Shreveport. They’ve been clutch during the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, providing a taste of pre-pandemic life in the form of food from beloved restaurants, as well as an employment option for drivers and a deeply flawed, but much-needed, source of income for restaurants.

Lately, however, the Shreveport that I expected to see in the early days of local food delivery has started to emerge: listings for restaurants that don’t exist, indecipherable and misleading food photography, and—last but not least—a whole lot of crazy-lookin’-ass food.

In what may wind up becoming Stuffed & Busted’s first-ever annual list, and what is definitely the most clickbaity thing I’ve ever written, I not-so-proudly present the seven most Shreveport things that you can order on food delivery apps in Shreveport as of December 2020.

1. An “Appetizer” Called “Gumbo” at Thrill’s Turkey Legs (See it on Waitr)

This aggressively smoked turkey leg isn’t “stuffed” with gumbo, it’s “infested” with gumbo. This is not an appetizer by any definition of the word. I’ll tell you one thing, though, for absolute certain: I want to eat this. I guarantee you it is every bit as delicious as it is frightening to behold.

Thrill must be an awesome person, because their restaurant offers Kool-Aid on the delivery menu. You can get Kool-Aid brought to your house for two dollars. That’s a bargain. 

2. Non-Alcoholic Drive-Thru Daiquiris from Alky Therapy (see it on GrubHub)

Now, hear me out: I love Alky Therapy. I happen to believe that the young owner, Katina Gosey, is a franchise mogul in the making. But non-alcoholic drive-thru daiquiris, delivered in an estimated 45-50 minutes? People are ordering these? 

To me, it sounds like a secret code. Maybe you order the non-alcoholic frozen daiquiri from the place called Alky Therapy via GrubHub, and a guy named “The Chupacabra” shows up at your house with a bunch of cleaning supplies and your new passport.

3. Sushi Rolls That Shouldn’t Exist from Spicy Bowl (see it on OnTheGoDelivery.com) or Kobe Steakhouse & Sushi Bar (see it on Waitr) 

What must it do to the spirit of a journeyman sushi chef, who has spent countless hours studying the delicate flesh of the amberjack, to be asked to prepare the Chick-por-A roll at Spicy Bowl in Bossier City?

Believe it or not, northwestern Louisiana is home to multiple sushi restaurants that serve fried chicken sushi rolls. Is that normal? To answer this question, I will cite the actual name of another Spicy Bowl roll: “Something Wrong.”

The sushi menu at Kobe Steakhouse hits different in the #MeToo era. These folks are, in the year of our lord 2021, out here selling a Wet Dream Roll. What the Hell Roll?

Another real joy of the Kobe Steakhouse menu is this section, which I can’t stop looking at:

I imagine that was an awkward photoshoot. After the third roll was presented, the photographer may, understandably, have looked up from his work to ask: “Mr. Vegas, are you sure this isn’t the same roll that was just here?”

I am genuinely curious to see what these things look like in a delivery box. I think they look like cuddly-looking space creatures that turn out to be evil, and I want to eat one right now.

4. Blunt Wrappers and Gatorade

Someone is apparently in the process of adding the Raceway on Benton Road to Waitr, which perfectly summarizes my generalized concerns back in 2013 about what our food delivery apps would end up looking like. But, truthfully, there are definitely times when I’d pay someone $4 to bring me two Gatorades and a honeybun.

The Raceway is also listed as a Mexican restaurant, which leads me to believe that this is a bomb-ass gas station. Carry on, there is nothing wrong with Raceway stations being added to Waitr. This is fine.

5. Southern Maid Donuts (see it on Waitr)

When you read the phrase “quality of life,” what comes to mind? Parks, shopping, public transit? Sure, Shreveport faces a staggering number of seemingly insurmountable challenges including crumbling infrastructure and interminable gang warfare, but also you can get Southern Maid Donuts brought to your house. Granted, these are not 4:15 p.m. from the Hearne Avenue location Southern Maid Donuts. But still.

6. Cevapčići, the National Sandwich of Bosnia and Herzegovina, from Julie Anne’s Bakery Cafe (see it on OnTheGoDelivery)

Whether you love sausage, cheese and buttery bread or you’re just bored and in need of something to blow your mind, make the National Sandwich of Herzegovina your next food delivery order. I’ve probably eaten Julie Anne’s ćevapčići (pronounced cheh-voppy) a dozen times, and each time I marvel at the miracle of its existence.
 
The sandwich is a large pocket of grilled Lepina, which is Croatian pita bread, stuffed with finger-sized Balkans-style sausages, grilled tomatoes, a pepper blend called ajvar, and an artery-destroying mixture of creamed and crumbled cheeses called kajmak.

This is a sandwich that will make even the most well-traveled eater feel as though there is still a great, big world out there to explore. At a time when we can’t roam the hillsides in-person due to COVID-19, ćevapčići brings a distant corner of the globe to our doorsteps.

7. The Cajun Ham Po’ Boy from Po’ Boy Express (see it on OnTheGoDelivery.com)

Y’all think this is human trafficking? Probably not, right? 

Do you think Po’ Boy Express knows that this lady is being offered as a sandwich on their delivery menu? Does anyone out there in real life know the Cajun Ham Po’ Boy? We should let her know about this, because surely metadata from this site feeds into a broader network. A few big companies sell their data, and the next thing you know, this woman is the face of Cajun Ham Po’ Boys all across the world wide web.

Merry Christmas, Cajun Ham Po’ Boy — keep that winning smile. I pray that you are not actually missing.

And, speaking of people going missing, Merry Christmas to El Chupacabra.  

Happy Holidays, Mr. Vegas — please change the name of the Wet Dream Roll, it is disgusting.

And Merry Christmas, Thrill. I hope that we can meet in person, and share a to-go Kool-Aid, in 2021.

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